I’m not sure how to say this

Keith snapped this photo of me today as we were walking. You can tell by my big smile I’m happy … I’m outside, by the ocean, and I’m walking. 


I haven’t hit my walking goals this year (and I won’t hit them) but I’m still moving … and I’m more active for trying to hit goals than I would be if if didn’t try at all. 


So I’m bothered by the things I read (mostly on facebook) from heavy friends or friends of friends who blame society for creating an ideal and expecting us all to conform. Why is someone else always to blame?! 

Do I need to be a size 2? NO!

Am I overweight? YES!

Is that society’s fault? NO!

I’ve reached the point in my life that I know I eat and drink things that contribute to me being overweight BUT I’m OK with that. I want to enjoy life and for me and Keith that means travel and eating and drinking what we want. 

It also means that I need to try to be healthier … I don’t like the gym, I don’t like to diet, but I do like to walk so I create opportunities and challenges that keep me moving. However, I don’t blame society or medical science for telling me I’m overweight. I am overweight and that does create health risks and challenges. I try to be healthier by walking. 

23 thoughts on “I’m not sure how to say this

  1. Jackson Watkins

    Hi Mary,
    Thanks for your post! I am also at the point in my life that I have had the same realization as you. Approx. 8 months ago, I weighed 173, at 5’7″, with a 36″ waist. I looked like a short, big pear! I was a very small guy growing up, but when a medication for neuropathy caused me to gain weight so fast, my head was spinning. I was convinced there was nothing I could do to lose the weight while on these types of medications. After looking back at vacation photos from 8-9 years ago, I realized how long I had been overweight and depressed. I was also very limited to physical activity because of my neuropathy that affects my lower legs and feet. BUT, I decided that day I would not live the rest of my life so unhappy. I spoke with a dear friend of mine who had lost over 100 lbs and discussed how she did it. I have never been a big eater, but changed what foods I ate, and also started walking the fur-kids a mile every morning after their breakfast, and upon dropping them off at home, I would turn around and speed walk a much farther distance than before, up and down these mountain roads. I currently weigh 146 lbs, and have dropped from a 36″ to a 31″ waist. I am 6 lbs from reaching my goal, and so happy & proud of myself. Good luck in your journey and keep moving forward! FYI-you look extremely happy walking along the ocean, just saying….

  2. Debbie Clarke

    Congrats and thanks for posting this! Be thankful you are moving and walking everyday. I am struggling to regain balance and mobility and shout yay for anyone who keeps trying at anything. I have improved mightily in 15 months, but the weight issue is so hard to control with the mobility loss. So celebrate and enjoy the walk!

  3. Cynthia

    Great photo, you radiate happiness. And thanks you for saying out loud that we are responsible for our choices. You can be healthy and still be overweight. You can be unhealthy and a perfect weight. A lot of health issues have to do with life choices. I am talking about general health not terrible illnesses.

  4. Judy

    Well said! I am a retired nurse and am convinced, from my observations, that the secret to a long life is maintaining a healthy weight. Not model thin, that’s not healthy either. Just a weight that is stable and allows a person to be active.

  5. Girl in the Stix

    You look healthy to me! I try to exercise at least 30 minutes/day–my goal is 60 and some days I make it. I think it is key to a healthy older age. My favorite saying: “The angel of happiness is a chubby angel.” Enjoying life is more important than being a size 2.

  6. MaryLou

    You look happy – healthy – wonderful to me…what more could you ask for…
    Love the water looks so peaceful….

  7. Stephanie

    Hmmm, “overweight” by whose unrealistic standard?
    You look normal sized to me, happy and healthy.
    Size 2 is a size for 2 year olds in my opinion, not for fully grown adults.

  8. Jan Altomare

    Congratulations for moving! Those are my goals too, keep moving. Try to hit 10,000 each day. Summer days are much easier, these colder days not as much fun. Foot surgery has knocked me down these last weeks, but once I’m over that, I’ll be back.

    What are your stepping goals for 2018? What were they for 2017?

  9. Penny G

    You said it quite well. I have lost weight by changing my lifestyle and then had some things happen and my weight is back where it was and my activity level is down. I need to modify my lifestyle again – since I did it before, I am pretty sure I can do it again. The key word is I – and I know that. There are a lot of things I could blame, but that is just refusing to look in the mirror at the reason I am gaining. The things that happened were an excuse not to do what I knew I needed to do. I am a stress eater and gave into it. I gave into it. I am not walking at least 2 miles every day. That is on me. It takes about an hour and I waste that every day. My health issues sometimes make it harder, but not impossible and I bought a recumbent bike to take that excuse away. It is my fault. Gee – want take the blame? I guess it is my responsibility.

  10. Julia

    Mary, you are one of the most “giving” person I know. Always there to help family and friends. You give of your time, talent and monies with the Heartstrings group. Ignore the negative … new year is coming and I’m hoping I can take those walks and steps with you!! I won’t be near the water but around the home neighborhood.

  11. Julierose

    Good for you, Mary!! We try to walk every day; but altho there are down days, at least we are also still moving. Great pix of you–I think you look great!
    I am not happy with how I’ve gained and look (but I’ve NEVER met any woman who is entirely happy with her own looks–so it is what it is–right?) Life at my age is about enjoying each day I have left…hugs for a very Happy Thanksgiving Holiday Julierose

  12. Cynthia Marrs

    We all need a lift once in a while. I walk 3 miles every day. Being fit has given me so much more energy. Keep on smiling. Your message gave me a good lift, and I thank you.

  13. Voni

    Bravo, Mary, my cyber friend! You are amazing! Love your blog, please keep smiling and please keep blogging! 🙋 👏 Thanksgiving Blessings to you and your family!

  14. Linda

    Great attitude! Taking responsibilities for our own lifestyle is what we all should do. Enough of pointing fingers! But I will point one your direction that says Good Job, Mary! I concur.

  15. Sandy

    Hi Mary. I think you look great. You and Keith are setting a great example for your kids and grandkids.

  16. Sara F

    You do look happy and healthy. Good job on the walking even if you didn’t quite reach your goal. You did make great progress and that is worth a lot. I’m trying to get back to walking – using the indoor track at a local facility. So far I haven’t managed to make it a routine.

  17. pauline chapman

    happy thanksgiving from across the miles from canada
    your healthy attitude towards life is so uplifting
    walking sets my mind free to think pleasant thoughts
    and of what to write in my gratitude journal when my walk is done
    happiness and gratitude seem to shine out of your eyes and constant smile
    and that includes keith as well as your family
    must be in the genes…
    wishing you continued success in reaching your goal….whenever
    pauline

  18. Rebecca Haughn

    Hahah , we are our own worst enemies for sure. I think also you look so great and healthy, at least you try to do better everyday, not sure many of us can say the same. Thank you for posting the pic now I can see you when I read your entries that you share with us. Thank you, Thank you, and Happy Happy Thanksgiving.

  19. Neame

    You are right in what you say, of course. We are responsible for our own health. That said, I do feel for the young girls and young women who, having been influenced by the media’s impossible ideal, resort to anorexia and bulimia to try to achieve an air-brushed ideal. In fact, their starting point was probably perfectly acceptable.

    Love your blog. Thanks for sharing. Neame

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